Dignity,
“the quality or state of being worthy, honored, or esteemed.”[1]
Most people would say they understand the word dignity, but fail to recognize dignity as more than respect, but a
birthright all humans have as Donna Hicks explains in her book Dignity. The book lays out ten
essential elements of dignity: acceptance of identity, inclusion, safety, acknowledgment,
recognition, fairness, benefit of the doubt, understanding, independence, and
accountability.[2] When one of
these ten elements is violated, anger and withdrawal often occur. Since dignity is essential for all
humans, it needs to be demonstrated within the community of faith. Today, I
want to share with you two experiences of mine, which have led me to a new
concept of what peace can look like within the church and how the concept of
dignity can transform the way we live in relationship as a community of faith.
My first story comes
from the congregation I was a member of from middle school until high school
graduation. This large congregation had a wide range of strongly differing
theological beliefs and doctrine. Many people in the congregation believed that
theologically there were very little gray areas and if you questioned their
beliefs, you were seen as wrong for even raising questions. These differing beliefs,
although they had always been present, had often been shoved under a mat and
were rarely discussed. However, halfway through my junior year in high school
these differences were brought to the forefront as a new pastor came into the
congregation. Meetings were held about the direction that community of faith
should be taking. Instead of productive conversation and deep listening to each
other about the different opinions and doctrines, people literally yelled their
beliefs to the whole congregation and refused to listen to those who spoke from
a different point of view. People tried to get their point and agenda across
without any respect to whom they were hurting in the process. I was confused
and angry. I could not understand how people who were supposed to be my faith
family could treat their fellow church members so badly. I was hurt and broken
by the experience and for a time lost all hope in the church.
After
high school graduation, my family moved to a different state, left that
congregation, and I came to my university. Then last spring I needed a summer
job and also wanted to use the summer to reconnect and find a different version
of church than that which I had experienced. I decided to participate in the
Ministry Inquiry Program. Through the Ministry Inquiry Program, I ended up in a
large city in Texas, at a congregation of about 75 attendees. I had never been
to Texas before and knew very little about the church before going. However, I talked
on the phone with the pastor and learned that the congregation was not
experiencing conflict and was open to different theologies; the two essential
elements to my search of possible placements.
Once in
Texas, the pastor explained to me how as the only Mennonite church in the area,
it attracted many different people who would not normally worship together if
they lived in an area such as Harrisonburg, VA, which has a large variety of
Mennonite churches. I am not going
to pretend that there were no problems in at the church with regard to the
differing theologies, but instead of destructive conflict like in my previous
congregation, I experienced something completely different.
Near the
beginning of my summer I became a part of a small group of women from the
congregation who were reading The Heart
of Christianity by Marcus Borg. For those who are not familiar with the
book, Borg presents a liberal theological reading of Jesus and the Bible. Some
in the book study related very closely with this theology, while others were in
complete opposition to some of the ideas expressed in the book. With a wide
range of opinions, I expected people to become defensive, especially those
whose beliefs were being questioned by the author of the book.
However,
this did not happen. Instead of becoming defensive, this group of women opened
up with each other and me as they expressed their feelings and beliefs, while
being open to hearing a new point of view. At the end of the book, they agreed
to disagree with each other, but all felt closer to each other and had a
greater understanding and respect of their differing beliefs. They demonstrated
that fostering a good relationship with each other and respecting different
beliefs was more important than trying to persuade and change each other’s
views.
This group
of women was not the exception in this Texas congregation. Throughout the
entire church I found a deep respect for one another and all different types of
views. For the attendees of the church, having a correct doctrine and being
theologically correct was not the most important thing. Instead, for them, they
believed to be Christ’s true body and live in close community with one another
meant living in right relationships. I believe it was because of this attitude
that there was not much conflict and instead of spending energy on fighting,
people were able to get engaged in church life and the surrounding community,
working to spread peace around the world.
So what was
the difference between the Texas congregation and my church growing up? Why was
one able to create peace, while in the other conflict just festered and grew? I
believe one answer to this question comes from the intentionality that existed
in Texas. The Texas church was a smaller community that spent a lot of time
with each other inside of church and outside. I spent many evenings going to
member’s houses for parties and informal get-togethers. In many ways they
reminded me of the early church body from Acts. Acts 2: 42-47 says,
They devoted themselves to the apostles;
teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. .. All the
believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and
possessions to give anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet
together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together
with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the
people.[3]
This is how the church in
Texas acted. Every time I met with people, I felt their sincere hearts and
truly joyful praise. Their intentionality about spending time together, praying
together, often sharing meals together, serving the poor and needy together and
even figuring out the finances of the church together led to a body that knew
each other extremely well and was able to see each other’s humanity in able to
work out differences better, leading to a more peaceful community despite the
differences that existed.
In Jonathan
Wilson-Hartgrove’s book, New Monasticism,
he describes how the early church in Acts also had divisive issues. Throughout
the New Testament you see divisions such as Jew and Gentile. However, this
early church was able to find unity despite these differences. Hartgrove
writes, “Unity across dividing lines was what distinguished the early church—so
much so that they require a new name.”[4]
The name Christian was a new word
that this new body of believers decided to call themselves. Being intentional
about being the church despite differences is what being Christian is all
about.
Looking back on my
two experiences, I believe dignity is the difference. In my old church, people
did not respect each other’s dignity. I know I felt my own dignity violated. I
did not feel my identity being accepted, I did not feel included, safe,
acknowledged or even recognized. I most definitely did not feel understood. And
when one person’s dignity was violated, often in response, in their anger and
frustration, people violated someone else’s dignity. The people in the church
were not bad people, and I do not believe they meant to harm each other in the
way they did. However, the church did not understand dignity and how dignity is
essential to all humans, and especially when attempting to be a community of
Christ.
Texas was different
because through their intentionality they were able to hold each other’s
dignity. Within their conversations and actions, the congregation was able to
embrace one another and respect the essential elements of dignity. By holding
each other’s dignity, I believe the church can be transformed and be the place
of peace God meant for it to be. In the end, I believe that taking care of one
another and loving each other to protect dignity is more important than having
the correct doctrine or theology. When we hold each other’s dignity, we truly
become the body of Christ.
[1]
“dignity.”
Merriam-Webster.com, 2012,
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/dignity, retrieved 12
March 2012.
[2]
Hicks, Donna, Dignity: the essential role it
plays in resolving conflict, New Haven: Yale University Press, 2011.
[3] Acts
2:42-27 (Today’s New International Version).
[4] Hartgrove, Jonathan, New monasticism: what it
has to say to today's church, Grand Rapids, Mich.: Brazos Press, 2008.
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