Peace Fellowship

          One of the best parts of this year has been my strong involvment in Peace Fellowship, EMU's peace club on campus. As Co-President, I have had the opportunity to plan, organize, and attend some really awesome activities, events, and conferences. Last semester this included events about Congo, gun control, and traveling to Georgia for the annual SOA Protest. This semester we have have had a large event with Jean Robert Cadet, a former Haitian slave come share, smaller meetings with my friend Jean Claude Nkundwa, a student at the Center of Justice and Peacebuilding from Burundi, who has an amazing story, and another student Evan Knappenberger who served with the US military in Iraq, but is now actively involved with the peace movement in Virginia. All have been extremely informational and inspiring to hear work of peace happening around the world!
          I have also been gone the past three weekends attending peace events. Two and half weeks ago was the annual Intercollegiate Peace Fellowship Conference held at Bluffton University. Nine students from EMU went to Ohio for the weekend to attend the conference with the theme of Spirituality and Shalom. It was a great conference with some of my favorite people from EMU! One highlight was presenting a workshop on the movement my friend Josh and I begun to make EMU "conflict-free." I presented with my friends Rachel and Seth and afterward three colleges expressed strong interest in starting campaigns on their own campuses. I also enjoyed being home for a little bit (since I do live only 10 minutes from Bluffton) and spending time with my Co-President (the beautiful and talented Krista Nyce) outside of planning for Peace Fellowship events.
          On Sunday February 17, my roommate Ruth and I, along with 50 other EMU students traveled to Washington D.C. for the Rally on Climate Change. Over 35,000 people showed up for the rally to send a message to President Obama that the Keystone Pipeline should not be built. This turned out to be the largest climate rally ever! Although it was freezing cold, we had a great time listening to speakers, then marching around the White House.
          Finally, this last weekend I drove up to Philadelphia with five other EMU students and one alumni to attend The Justice Conference. We attended five pre-conference break-out workshops and nine main conference sessions, all in two days! It was fairly intensive and our group had mixed feelings about the conference itself, but overall I had a really great time with really fantastic people. I really appreciated having the opportunity to think more deeply about my own faith and committment to justice issues. The conference was really evangelical, which honestly turned me off at first. However, as the conference went on, I found myself appreciating the people there who were using their evangelical faith to fight for justice in the world. I might not agree with all of their theology, but it was nice to know that God can use the church to still work for change in the world today. As I have been feeling somewhat agnostic lately, it was ood to hear of a working God and the validity that religion can play in one's life.
          As you can probably tell, I could write a whole lot more on all of these events I attended. I do have notes and wrote about the conference in Bluffton and in Philly in the school newspaper if anyone is interested to hear more. But for now, I just want to say how thankful that I have had the opportunity to not just be inspired to be a peace and justice maker in today's world, but also to have the chance to build deep relationships with other members of Peace Fellowship. If any of you read this, know that I love you so much and really hate that I am leaving in just a couple of months! Peace Fellowship has meant so much to me, especially this last year, and it is going to be really hard to graduate and move on.

Thoughts and Feelings

          A lot of thoughts run through my head in the course of a day... from classwork to Peace Fellowship to friends, I feel there is always something to be pondering about. A lot of these times these thoughts give me energy. Especially times such as yesterday when I had the privilege to hear two different speakers on peace and finding meaning in peacemaking. The thoughts from the speakers intrigued me and I became wrapped up in the hope of my future in peacemaking. Then, there are days like today, when I get caught up in my own feelings of self-doubt and loneliness. These thoughts seems to consume me for no reason (especially since I am daily surrounded by people who love me) and I lose focus in classes and meetings.

          How do I keep focus and interest on these days? Sometimes I can justify my lack of focus, but days like today, there is really no good reason for it. And then I get even more upset with myself, putting myself in a even worse mood. Is it possible for me to talk myself out of a bad mood? Or do I just get lost in meaningness of life for the day and hope that a miraculous change will occur or at least tomorrow will be better. Many times I try to talk myself out of it; I try to reason with myself and convince myself that I have no reason to be upset. This rarely works for me. Often, I end up getting more unfocused and frustrated. Giving up hope and just waiting for change sometimes helps. I often run into a friend or have an energizing conversation, or at least a good night's sleep, that makes me feel better and get excited once more about life. However, the time waiting for this to happen is lonely and seems like a waste of time and energy.

          Is there be an alternative? Is there a way to live a meaningful life all the time and get rid of these blah days when you are unfocused and discouraged for no reason? It might not be possible all of the time, but I like to believe there are alternatives if you are willing to do them. For me, it is to actively seek out activities that give me joy. If conversations give me energy, I need to get over my own loneliness and find someone to talk to about something that gives me joy. Other times, I need to be by myself and live into my feelings in a productive way. As discussed in previous posts, I do this through creative expression, such as painting. Today, I am doing this by writing. By using my creative side, I am able to see a different reality of the day and myself. 

          Taking the time and energy to change my mood is not always easy. I often find myself just wallowing and watching tv instead. However, today I am not willing to let myself do that. I have so much in life to be excited for and too little time left in college to be wasting it feeling bad about myself. Today, I am choosing to share with the world one of my weaknesses and then moving on. By recognizing my own feelings and flaws, I can live more deeply into myself and begin to focus on what truly matters. 

The Call of Adventure

          This semester I have been spending a lot of time thinking about adventure... past adventures I have experienced while at EMU, and the future adventure I am about to embark on after graduation in April. First, I should explain that I love adventure... I love the thrill of exploring new places and making memories. I love the rush of anticipation and the feelings of success and self-satisfaction after it is over. Most of all I love the relationships that are built because of the shared experience of adventure.
          Not all the adventures I go on have been epic. Often my roommate and I will be bored and will go on an "adventure" as a study-break. This usually ends up being a walk around campus, but as we head out we do not know where we are going or who we will meet along the way. These small adventures give us the opportunity to see the campus in new ways, searching out the uncommon and being able to see things we take for granted in our everyday busyness.
         Other adventures have been extremely epic: purposefully getting lost in the streets of Paris, joining thousands of others in protest of the School of the Americas, learning about peace at the United Nations, meeting with Islamic leaders in Northern Iraq, and many more.  I have had some pretty amazing experiences in the last four years and all of these times have formed me into who I have become.
          What exactly is adventure? Two definitions I have found to be helpful are "1) An exciting or unusual experience", and "2) A bold, usually risky undertaking with an uncertain outcome." The first can help describe how we can make any experience an adventure. Even the mundane can seem exciting if we are looking for the unusual and trying to find ways to make life a little more exciting. The second definition shows how to have an adventure, we need to be willing to take risks. Although some adventures are planned, others occur simply because you are willing to venture into the unknown.
          As I look back on my four years at EMU, it has been the adventures that stand out. A lot of my relationships have been built on shared adventures and my main memories are the times I have taken risks and tried new things. In my most stressful times, an adventure would always make things better, even if it was just a half hour break in the library looking for interesting books or getting lost painting a far-off pace. If there is any advice I would leave to underclassmen it would be take the time to have adventures. Take risks and take the time to search out the uncommon. Adventures in my opinion are what help make life worth living.
          I relate well to the following quote by Mae Chevrette, "It is in all of us to defy expectations, to go into this world and to be brave, to need, to want, to hunger for ADVENTURE, to embrace change, chance and risk, so that we may breathe and know what it is to be free." I feel most free when I am on an adventure because I am able to look deep inside myself and be who I want to be. Adventures allow me the opportunity to be braver than what I think I am and to take chances. At the end I have a greater knowledge of who I am and who I want to be in the world. And this makes any adventure worth while.
          So some of you might be wondering what my next adventure is. No, I do not yet know what is happening after graduation, but I have made Spring Break plans. I am really excited to say I am headed back to Istanbul for the week with four friends! This adventure is really not planned at all yet, but in a little over two weeks we will be headed over seas to see what we can find in Turkey. The trip is just for fun mainly because we found really cheap plane tickets. Hopefully I can find time to write at least one more time before the trip, but be looking forward to hearing all sorts of new adventures from that trip. I am sure there will be a lot of great stories to share!