The End of the World Again

          As I mentioned in my last post I am not good at letting things go. I realize that for me I need to process everything and mourn in order to move on. Even the small things I need to mourn. It might seem silly but I have a super active a imagination and I can picture how good things could be and I get it into my head and want so badly for things to be a certain way. So when things end too early, it is really hard. And to be able to move on, I need to be in a bad mood for a little bit. I need to say that life isn't fair in order for me to enjoy the next thing. And here in Ecuador, the next thing has been amazing. Every time. Like right now, I am sitting under a palm tree, watching the sunset over the Pacific Ocean. Amazing.

          I am reminded of the Steel Wheels concert I went to last month. Trent, the main singer explained how it is hard for them to leave a place they love performing in. It is also really hard to leave home. The lyrics to their title song go, "Time creeps forward without failure. You can't help but leave some things behind. Oh it's the end of the world again my darling. I can almost see the fire in the sky. Can't go back, that time is over. You can't help but leave some things behind. I am going to leave, I don't know any other way." This is how it is for me. It feels like the end of the world when I leave a place I love, when I leave a person I have come to care about. But you have to leave some things behind .

          And soon, on Sunday, I will leave Ecuador, a place I have come to love. It will be hard. This is the hard part about this life I have chosen for myself, this life of travel and adventure. I always have to leave some things behind. But there are always new things ahead and I wouldn't have it any other way. I wouldn't trade this life of mine for anything else. As the Steel Wheels say in another song, "It makes a difference where you go. It makes you different where you go." Ecuador, the places I have seen, the activities I have experienced, the Spanish I have learned, and all the incredible people I have met this past month have changed me. And I feel so blessed.