Peace Fellowship

          One of the best parts of this year has been my strong involvment in Peace Fellowship, EMU's peace club on campus. As Co-President, I have had the opportunity to plan, organize, and attend some really awesome activities, events, and conferences. Last semester this included events about Congo, gun control, and traveling to Georgia for the annual SOA Protest. This semester we have have had a large event with Jean Robert Cadet, a former Haitian slave come share, smaller meetings with my friend Jean Claude Nkundwa, a student at the Center of Justice and Peacebuilding from Burundi, who has an amazing story, and another student Evan Knappenberger who served with the US military in Iraq, but is now actively involved with the peace movement in Virginia. All have been extremely informational and inspiring to hear work of peace happening around the world!
          I have also been gone the past three weekends attending peace events. Two and half weeks ago was the annual Intercollegiate Peace Fellowship Conference held at Bluffton University. Nine students from EMU went to Ohio for the weekend to attend the conference with the theme of Spirituality and Shalom. It was a great conference with some of my favorite people from EMU! One highlight was presenting a workshop on the movement my friend Josh and I begun to make EMU "conflict-free." I presented with my friends Rachel and Seth and afterward three colleges expressed strong interest in starting campaigns on their own campuses. I also enjoyed being home for a little bit (since I do live only 10 minutes from Bluffton) and spending time with my Co-President (the beautiful and talented Krista Nyce) outside of planning for Peace Fellowship events.
          On Sunday February 17, my roommate Ruth and I, along with 50 other EMU students traveled to Washington D.C. for the Rally on Climate Change. Over 35,000 people showed up for the rally to send a message to President Obama that the Keystone Pipeline should not be built. This turned out to be the largest climate rally ever! Although it was freezing cold, we had a great time listening to speakers, then marching around the White House.
          Finally, this last weekend I drove up to Philadelphia with five other EMU students and one alumni to attend The Justice Conference. We attended five pre-conference break-out workshops and nine main conference sessions, all in two days! It was fairly intensive and our group had mixed feelings about the conference itself, but overall I had a really great time with really fantastic people. I really appreciated having the opportunity to think more deeply about my own faith and committment to justice issues. The conference was really evangelical, which honestly turned me off at first. However, as the conference went on, I found myself appreciating the people there who were using their evangelical faith to fight for justice in the world. I might not agree with all of their theology, but it was nice to know that God can use the church to still work for change in the world today. As I have been feeling somewhat agnostic lately, it was ood to hear of a working God and the validity that religion can play in one's life.
          As you can probably tell, I could write a whole lot more on all of these events I attended. I do have notes and wrote about the conference in Bluffton and in Philly in the school newspaper if anyone is interested to hear more. But for now, I just want to say how thankful that I have had the opportunity to not just be inspired to be a peace and justice maker in today's world, but also to have the chance to build deep relationships with other members of Peace Fellowship. If any of you read this, know that I love you so much and really hate that I am leaving in just a couple of months! Peace Fellowship has meant so much to me, especially this last year, and it is going to be really hard to graduate and move on.

Thoughts and Feelings

          A lot of thoughts run through my head in the course of a day... from classwork to Peace Fellowship to friends, I feel there is always something to be pondering about. A lot of these times these thoughts give me energy. Especially times such as yesterday when I had the privilege to hear two different speakers on peace and finding meaning in peacemaking. The thoughts from the speakers intrigued me and I became wrapped up in the hope of my future in peacemaking. Then, there are days like today, when I get caught up in my own feelings of self-doubt and loneliness. These thoughts seems to consume me for no reason (especially since I am daily surrounded by people who love me) and I lose focus in classes and meetings.

          How do I keep focus and interest on these days? Sometimes I can justify my lack of focus, but days like today, there is really no good reason for it. And then I get even more upset with myself, putting myself in a even worse mood. Is it possible for me to talk myself out of a bad mood? Or do I just get lost in meaningness of life for the day and hope that a miraculous change will occur or at least tomorrow will be better. Many times I try to talk myself out of it; I try to reason with myself and convince myself that I have no reason to be upset. This rarely works for me. Often, I end up getting more unfocused and frustrated. Giving up hope and just waiting for change sometimes helps. I often run into a friend or have an energizing conversation, or at least a good night's sleep, that makes me feel better and get excited once more about life. However, the time waiting for this to happen is lonely and seems like a waste of time and energy.

          Is there be an alternative? Is there a way to live a meaningful life all the time and get rid of these blah days when you are unfocused and discouraged for no reason? It might not be possible all of the time, but I like to believe there are alternatives if you are willing to do them. For me, it is to actively seek out activities that give me joy. If conversations give me energy, I need to get over my own loneliness and find someone to talk to about something that gives me joy. Other times, I need to be by myself and live into my feelings in a productive way. As discussed in previous posts, I do this through creative expression, such as painting. Today, I am doing this by writing. By using my creative side, I am able to see a different reality of the day and myself. 

          Taking the time and energy to change my mood is not always easy. I often find myself just wallowing and watching tv instead. However, today I am not willing to let myself do that. I have so much in life to be excited for and too little time left in college to be wasting it feeling bad about myself. Today, I am choosing to share with the world one of my weaknesses and then moving on. By recognizing my own feelings and flaws, I can live more deeply into myself and begin to focus on what truly matters. 

The Call of Adventure

          This semester I have been spending a lot of time thinking about adventure... past adventures I have experienced while at EMU, and the future adventure I am about to embark on after graduation in April. First, I should explain that I love adventure... I love the thrill of exploring new places and making memories. I love the rush of anticipation and the feelings of success and self-satisfaction after it is over. Most of all I love the relationships that are built because of the shared experience of adventure.
          Not all the adventures I go on have been epic. Often my roommate and I will be bored and will go on an "adventure" as a study-break. This usually ends up being a walk around campus, but as we head out we do not know where we are going or who we will meet along the way. These small adventures give us the opportunity to see the campus in new ways, searching out the uncommon and being able to see things we take for granted in our everyday busyness.
         Other adventures have been extremely epic: purposefully getting lost in the streets of Paris, joining thousands of others in protest of the School of the Americas, learning about peace at the United Nations, meeting with Islamic leaders in Northern Iraq, and many more.  I have had some pretty amazing experiences in the last four years and all of these times have formed me into who I have become.
          What exactly is adventure? Two definitions I have found to be helpful are "1) An exciting or unusual experience", and "2) A bold, usually risky undertaking with an uncertain outcome." The first can help describe how we can make any experience an adventure. Even the mundane can seem exciting if we are looking for the unusual and trying to find ways to make life a little more exciting. The second definition shows how to have an adventure, we need to be willing to take risks. Although some adventures are planned, others occur simply because you are willing to venture into the unknown.
          As I look back on my four years at EMU, it has been the adventures that stand out. A lot of my relationships have been built on shared adventures and my main memories are the times I have taken risks and tried new things. In my most stressful times, an adventure would always make things better, even if it was just a half hour break in the library looking for interesting books or getting lost painting a far-off pace. If there is any advice I would leave to underclassmen it would be take the time to have adventures. Take risks and take the time to search out the uncommon. Adventures in my opinion are what help make life worth living.
          I relate well to the following quote by Mae Chevrette, "It is in all of us to defy expectations, to go into this world and to be brave, to need, to want, to hunger for ADVENTURE, to embrace change, chance and risk, so that we may breathe and know what it is to be free." I feel most free when I am on an adventure because I am able to look deep inside myself and be who I want to be. Adventures allow me the opportunity to be braver than what I think I am and to take chances. At the end I have a greater knowledge of who I am and who I want to be in the world. And this makes any adventure worth while.
          So some of you might be wondering what my next adventure is. No, I do not yet know what is happening after graduation, but I have made Spring Break plans. I am really excited to say I am headed back to Istanbul for the week with four friends! This adventure is really not planned at all yet, but in a little over two weeks we will be headed over seas to see what we can find in Turkey. The trip is just for fun mainly because we found really cheap plane tickets. Hopefully I can find time to write at least one more time before the trip, but be looking forward to hearing all sorts of new adventures from that trip. I am sure there will be a lot of great stories to share!

New Year but the End of an Era

          I did not intentionally take a break from blogging, but with finals week, a fairly uneventful holidays, and a busy start to the new semester, I have found myself not posting in over a month. I am afraid that this might be a trend as this semester is looking to have very little free time. I might not have any new positions, but my classes are harder and the workload has intensified. My classes this semester are: Occupy History (history of social movements in the U.S.), Introduction to Philosophy (to finish up my philosophy minor), Seminar in History, Theories of Peacebuilding, and Honors Senior Seminar. I have enjoyed all the classes so far, although none I am in love with. Peace Fellowship continues to take a lot of my time as I plan for events and conferences. Coming up in two weeks is the annual Intercollegiate Peace Fellowship conference at Bluffton University. I am excited for the conference and am happy to be presenting a workshop on conflict minerals to hopefully grow the movement for colleges and churches to be conflict free.
          I cannot believe I am in my last semester of college. This is actually really bitter for me. You see, I have dreamed about coming to college since I was five. I spent most of high school just wishing I was in college. And now that I have been here over three and half years, I have little desire to leave. These years have truly been the best of my life. I have had many ups and downs, but I have learned so much about who I am, made some incredible friends, and have had enough adventures to fill a book! (Or at least a blog :) I am not planning on posting any future plans until I have something set in place. Right now my plans are pretty shaky, so I would appreciate any prayers and support. I believe once I know what my next adventure is, it will be easier to leave EMU, but right now I am mourning the end of this era of my life. These are my last days in this place and it is hard to think there is something better on the horizon.
          

The Muslim Women I Met

“Each day of our life is a gift from our merciful God to realize that we are still alive to give Him our grateful thanks and try to discover new things to keep our universe sacred with a long lasting shiny light.” - Kanar (my fellow delegate and dear friend)

         One of the first things I noticed being in Turkey and Iraq is that not all women wear headscarves. When I read Baghdad Burning the author talked about how she considered herself a devout Muslim but made the personal choice not to wear a headscarf with exception of when entering a mosque. This was true of most of women I befriended on my trip. When someone brought up the fact and asked why they did not cover their heads, most would answer that Iraq is not Iran. However, there were still plenty (well over half the population of women) who did wear a head scarf or even the full burqa. However, although it would seem that women in Turkey and Iraq have more freedom by not being legally required to wear a veil, many expressed feeling the same oppressions of patriarchy.
          As I listened to the discussion, the women talked about how they felt oppressed. They talked about how the system of patriarchy started back during the hunter/gatherer period when women had to take care of the children while the men hunted. The men controlled the economic system and this patriarchal system has continued until today. The men have power and women can only act in the ways and borders that men define. My one friend discussed being a woman in the society was like being a bird within a birdcage. Turkey and Iraq might seem more free but they still operated under the same patriarchal systems. 
          However, these women do not blame Islam as the source of this patriarchy. Indeed, the women I encountered were some of the most Godly women I have ever met. They have such a high respect for God and the Koran and would talk so openly about their love for God. They did not find Muslim traditions and rules as suffocating or tedious, but rather found joy in their religion and the ways they could show their love and devotion to the God they worshipped. I was inspired by their faith and commitment. 
         Over and over again I heard how the myths about Islam and women were simply not true. One woman activist we met with talked about her work dealing with FGM (female genital mutilation) and honor killings. FGM has traditionally been viewed as part of Islam, although it does not come from the Koran, but rather earlier traditions. The activist discussed her work talking to local mullahs and trying to gain their support. Many mullahs agree with the activists that FGM is not Islamic or even healthy, but fear speaking out for the sake of their reputation. Most mullahs also condemn honor killings in society and many like the mullah I met, speak actively out against all types of violence and oppression. 
          And women in the culture are slowly finding their voice. I learned about how women are now becoming organized and in Turkey, are a key force in the Kurdish movement. More than 1000 women are in prison there with 25 taking part in the hunger strikes. Women are coming together in solidarity to act against the male-dominated system. In Iraq, women are working to let other women know their rights and educating a whole society. I was so inspired by all the women I came across who are letting their voices be heard and standing up for what they believe in. And these are the voices I want others to hear and know. 
          Below is the painting I have been working on. Although the original painting is from one of the missions in San Antonio, I felt like it could also be a mosque. I wanted to portray a Muslim women sitting in awe and love of her God. She is not oppressed but rather freed by the light and in total peace with herself as she sits in reverence. This is the faith I experienced from the Muslim women I met, and the faith I want to have. 

         
         

Social Change Project Introduction

         I am currently sitting in Common Grounds Coffeehouse in Bluffton, Ohio trying to get some homework done over Thanksgiving Break. This past week has been extremely busy as I have traveled over 2,000 miles, spending 35 hours in my car, and seeing 8 different states. Last weekend I traveled to Columbus, Georgia, for the annual SOA protest with six other students from EMU. I then drove home to Pandora on Monday for Thanksgiving Break. Wednesday I went to Detroit, Michigan for a concert with a good friend and am now spending some time relaxing and catching up on my to-do list. At the end of the semester, this to-do list gets very long. One of the items on my to-do list is my social change project for my Race and Gender class. I volunteered to go first next Thursday, so that means I really need to start working on it. The assignment is focus on the following questions and coming up with some sort of project:

"What issues are likely to shape your personal life, your community, academic and public discourses in this field in the coming decades?   What can you do or propose as a way of moving ahead in the areas of race and/or gender?

 This final presentation is an opportunity for creative expression.  It’s your space for looking ahead, taking action, reshaping policy and institutions, “doing something” tangible.  WHAT will be your contribution to changing society?"

My professor suggested to me from the beginning of the semester that I focus my project on something I learned while in Kurdistan. While I was over in Turkey and Iraq, I tried to look for ways in which race and gender played roles in that society and how they were different from my own culture, and especially how they were different than my own expectations. While racial issues existed in Kurdistan, I was more interested in gender roles and especially the roles women play in society.

        

          During the trip, I had a lot of interactions with Kurdish women and was able to hear some of their experiences living in the society they do. I believe that with our changing world and the spread of globalization, the issue of women within Islam is extremely important and especially in my own life as I hope to travel back to the Middle East after graduation and work within that culture. My contribution to this field and my way of moving ahead is telling some of the stories I heard from the women who have changed my life. By telling their stories on this blog and in presentations I do, I hope to little by little influence and change the way society today views Muslim women. Another part of my project includes expressing these stories through art. I have been working on a couple of paintings recently that give a glimpse of the beauty and peace of Islam, a glimpse that is not often seen in today's society. I hope to take these paintings with me to the places where I live and work and to be able to share the stories of peace and hope expressed in the art. 

Some of my artwork.

This is my first painting I did for my restorative justice class. I wrote the following about it:

 "Restorative justice to me represents hope; hope that a broken system can be fixed, hope that broken relationships can be made right, and hope that the oppressed can be set free. Throughout this semester, as I have studied RJ and trauma awareness, I have felt hopeful about the work being done in the world and the progress the discipline is maki

ng. Our time at the Grateford Prison also filled me with hope; hope in humanity, that good people exist in every part of the world and are able to remain hopeful despite horrendous circumstances.

The birds in my painting represent this hope that exists. One of the inmates read a poem while in Graterford that inspired my painting and my life. The poem by Emily Dickinson goes, "hope is the thing with feathers that perches on the soul, and sings the tune-without the words, and never stops at all. And sweetest in the gale is heard; and sore must be the storm that could abash the little bird that kept so many warm. I've heard it in the chillest land, and on the strangest sea; yet, never, in extremity, it asked a crumb of me."

This is one the paintings I copied this summer. I just love the colors and rainy day atmosphere.

Here is one of the collages I made for my friend Anna. She loves to travel so I wanted to include pictures of places that looked exciting and inspiring. They represent just part of the infinite abyss.

This is the special collage I made for my dad. He loves cars, so I collected some of his old car magazines and created this. I have to admit that it has been one of my favorite collages. 

I even added artwork to my room. These are my closet doors in my bedroom. I first drew the tree in with pencil, before taking black paint.

I painted this the night of Hurricane Sandy. It is based on a picture of the mountains in Kurdistan and the great beauty that encountered there.