10 Years

Today marks the ten year anniversary of the war in Afghanistan. Ten years of fighting with not much of a foreseeable end. I hate to think of how many people have suffered and died in this "war on terror" and how many more people continue to suffer. Wednesday in my European Peace and Security Studies class we watched a Wikileaks video title "Collateral Murder." The video found on youtube is absolutely terrible and shows footage from an US helicopter in Iraq shooting at civilians. It is debatable if it was really an accident or not, and the US tried to cover up the scandal which included the deaths of two Reuters reporters and injuries of children. After class I fell apart while talking to my dad on the phone. I had already been down from my experiences on Monday, and this, along with today's anniversary, killed something inside of me.

I also go an overwhelming feeling that going to Iraq or Afghanistan is in my future. I have been considering joining Christian Peacemaker Teams since probably junior high, but in the last couple of days, I now know that I have to go. It is not just a goal of mine to go try to make peace in the world, but it is a part of who I am. I know that at my core, I am meant to go to these war-torn areas and become an advocate of peace. I have never felt anything else more strongly in my entire life. Right now, I am looking into joining a CPT delegation to Iraq sometime in 2012. But really, it is not a matter of choice, but rather doing what I need to do. I have to sign release form saying that I recognize that I may be kidnapped, tortured, or killed, but I realize that I am more than willing to lay down my life if it means that I am helping bring an end to the cycle of violence in this world. I really do not know what the future is going to hold, and it might not be a pretty one, but I know that God will be with me and that hope exists even on days such as these.