Sunday, October 5, 2014

Done with Waiting

          As I was redoing the look of my blog yesterday, I read the subtitle; "Waiting for an adventure bigger than me. Waiting for a world about to open." I wrote this over a year ago as I was so excited to be leaving the country. I was so excited to be starting a new chapter of my life. And this past year, I did experience adventure. I experienced an open world. But it wasn't what I imagined. Life isn't what I imagined. I would have never dreamed that I would be here in Indiana a year ago. I would have thought that I failed. This isn't the case at all, but it is interesting to reflect on it.
          Let's take a minute to reflect on what did happen this year. My dad got diagnosed with Parkinson's. I took part in my best friend's wedding. I moved to a new country, learned a new language, and met tons of new people. I lived my dream of backpacking around part of Europe with a dear friend (my cousin Cara). I Couchsurfed, I ran a half-marathon. I hosted visiting family and friends. I fell into depression. I struggled with decisions of what to do with life. I moved back to the United States. I became an aunt. I celebrated the 85th birthday of my Grandma Smith. I explored a new city in the U.S. I became a vegan. I moved to Indiana and started a graduate program. I mourned the death of my Grandma Schmidt.
           I think quite a year would be an understatement. I don't have many regrets about this year. Although parts of my time in Croatia were really hard, I learned so much. I experienced so much. I formed relationships that will stick with me through a lifetime. But I now realize that I am done waiting. Life is the adventure. The ups and downs became so much bigger than myself. The world was opened up to me in new exciting ways, but also I saw first hand the hard realities of life and death. And so now instead of waiting, I want to live. I want to live knowing that adventure doesn't have to be across the sea and it includes a lot of loneliness and depression. I want to live knowing that world is open and it was only in my mind that it was closed.
          I guess I need a new subtitle. Does anyone have an suggestions?

1 comment:

  1. I think you found it when you said, "The world is open." Something along those lines would be very fitting with what you're describing here!