Tuesday, November 3, 2015

A Short Visit To EMU (or coming home to Hogwarts)

          I am currently sitting in the campus center at EMU. I am back for a quick 2-day visit with really no plans other than to see a couple of close friends and see who I run into. Being here always causes much reflection. Really, being away from my life causes reflection, but especially here in this place. Because this is more than a place for me. EMU for me is a relationship. This might be a strange analogy, but it is one that has a lot of meaning in my life.
          So imagine that EMU is a person. And it was with this person whom I fell madly in love. In the fall of 2009 we began a relationship. At the beginning of the relationship, EMU told me that we would only have four years together and then we would part ways. I understood this agreement and knew that there was the biggest probability that my heart would be broken. But I took the risk and for four years I put my life and soul into this relationship. In that time, through this relationship, I learned so much about myself and who I wanted to be. I did this mostly in relation to EMU and so when the four years came to an end, I was heartbroken. I didn't want to leave. I didn't know who I was outside this relationship and frankly, I didn't want to know.
          And for two years, I was in mourning. I felt like I was floundering in the world and without EMU, I didn't know who I was. I just wanted to be back in the relationship, back in this place that meant the world to me. What I didn't realize in those two years, is how much I was growing and that EMU was still a large part of who I was and still played a huge role in my life even as I was far away. I wrote after my last visit, that I finally found closure (http://julia-exploringtheinfiniteabyss.blogspot.com/2015/04/southern-air.htm ) and that was true. I realized that I was changed because of my relationship with EMU and that EMU would always be a large part of who I am.
           Now I am back again and it is different. I am now in this different relationship (Goshen) and it is very good. But still, EMU knows me in ways that Goshen doesn't and in ways that Goshen probably never will. It was here in this place that I became who I am today. To be back is to be coming home. The intimacy I once shared is still here and I am able to reflect because in this place I can let my guard down. I am fully known here in a way where I am not in any other place. It is true that I have changed, but it is still here where my heart feels free and I can be truly at ease. It is crazy how a place can be so full of meaning and life. It doesn't matter that many of the faces of changed because this place will always be home for me. Like Hogwarts was for Harry, EMU will always welcome me back.

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